I know this feeling. Why do I know this feeling?
The queasy stomach.
The clenched jaw.
The involuntary tightening of the neck and back muscles.
The mind racing to project every possible outcome and scenario.
The last time I felt this way I’d just quit my job.
I was a music pastor at a sizeable church. Successful by comparison. Comfortable salary. The course of life smoothly charted for at least another few decades. Until God stepped in and totally changed the trajectory. Completely messed with normal.
I remember coming home from one of our last mid-week music rehearsals to my wife filling out a part-time Fed-Ex application–and I lost it. Couldn’t hold it in any longer.
What had I done? Giving up such certainty on a whim. Destabilizing my reputation and my family’s future on a hunch God had spoken to me? I know I tell people He does that, but really? I’ve seen plenty of people embrace foolishness and call it faith. I must have drunk the Kool-Aid.
And now we find ourselves here once again.
A few months ago I felt like God said we needed to list our house. I didn’t want to. But I figured what the heck, it doesn’t stand a chance to sell in this real estate market. We’ll set the price high and watch our listing fall into the ever-expanding abyss of unsold homes. Oh yeah, and we can “obey God” in the process. It’s a win-win.
10 days, 2 showings, and 2 offers that ended up in a bidding war later….
We have a signed purchase agreement (and no clue where we’re heading). Hence, “that feeling” again. A mixture of anxiety and second guessing with a sprinkle of nausea thrown in for flavor.
I’ve seen a lot of well intentioned people do really stupid things in the name of faith.
I’ve also seen a lot of over-calculating believers completely miss God’s future because they’re holding so tightly to the present.
I’d prefer to be neither.“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.”
-Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG
Where is the line between faith and foolishness? Have you ever confused the two?