Every two years my in-laws plan a huge family vacation. Their unmatched generosity, combined with my mother-inlaws 400,000 frequent flier miles (she travels for a living) made it possible for 11 of us to fly to Los Angeles last week for a summer getaway.
Two and half years ago my wife and I made that same cross-country flight.
Just the two of us.
In the spring of 2008, Mandy and I spent a few days at a marriage conference just north of LA, and the rest of the week exploring Hollywood, Santa Monica, Malibu, Burbank, and just enjoying one another. We ate at trendy restaurants, drove up the picturesque hills to the Griffith Observatory, even saw a taping of the Tonight Show. It was an experience we’ll never forget.
In fact, we brought those very memories with us on the plane last week (they’re one of the few things the airlines hasn’t figured out how to charge you to carry on). And for the first few days, I think we subconsciously tried to relive them. (Let’s hit that same restaurant. Do you remember that little shop? We have to go here!)
Only problem? This adventure was completely different. We stayed in Anaheim. Our kids were with us. We were a party of 11. Nothing but a few tourist stops and that circus otherwise known as Los Angeles International Airport looked anywhere near the same.
I began to realize how much of my life is spent simply trying to recreate meaningful past experiences. To regain a feeling. Recapture an emotion. Relive a memory.
It never works.
I was embodying the spirit of that old church lady that’s only willing to sing songs from the hymnal (yeah, I went there).
That’s the danger of event-driven living. We spend so much energy trying to reclaim past moments that we miss out on the new ones waiting to be created, even in the seemingly ordinary moments of everyday life. We’re oblivious to the now. Facing backwards. The future happens to us, rather than being painted with vibrant and anticipatory colors.
LA was great (thanks Dave & Candy). Both times. And this most recent visit solidified my commitment to spend my days creating new memories, not simply longing to relive past ones.